Are you a Victim or Hero in your closest relationships? A woman who has been physically, mentally or emotionally abused by her spouse is a typical example of being a victim.
Well, for the time that she was under her spouse’s horrific control, yes she was. And if she could not find a way out of this relationship, then she would remain a victim.
But what about the other women who were in abusive relationships and had managed to get out? Would you call them a victim? Probably, while they were under their spouse’s control. However, when a woman finds a way to get out, and continues to live her life in fear, sadness and pain around her past, then she would not be his victim. She would be her own victim.
How would you describe someone who has been out of an abusive relationship for many years yet they continue to cry, hate and never consider forgiveness?
I would describe it as self-imposed victimhood.
I was there. I was not physically abused but I felt bullied. I was scared and very sad that my life had turned out this way.
I would cry, get angry and blame him. Now, it had just happened and was an on-going issue. So to be fair to myself, I was still in the middle of it. Yet, I never could see my own victim energy.
Life at home was hell. I was constantly arguing with my son. One day, I was so angry with him that I said to myself; “He doesn’t see me as the victim here”. In that moment, I caught my own words.
Keep in mind I had been doing a lot of healing work on myself and was very aware of the Universal Laws. One of them being, ‘You Attract What You Are’. But I had forgotten this in my most painful days.
Do I want to be a Victim or Hero?
I was shocked at my own thoughts. I took a step back and asked my self, “Do I want to be a victim?” Of course the answer was a resounding, “NO!”
In that moment, I made a decision that no matter what is happening in my life, I will never allow myself to be a victim. I realized I had the power to choose between Victim or Hero! In that moment my energy changed. And in that same moment my relationship with my son turned around 360 degrees.
I learned a huge lesson that day. I learned that my children, and in fact, all children, do not want to see their mother as a victim. They want and need to see her as a hero.
When we blame others for our own suffering, even after many years, we remain victims. Self-Imposed Victims.
Victim to Hero
The way to change this is to make a decision whether you want to remain one. Once the decision is made, your energy will change and then you can do the necessary work to heal yourself. Healing happens differently for everyone. The best way to heal is to work with a professional that can help you understand your self-imposed victimhood and release it.
If this story sounds familiar in your life, ask yourself; “Am I a victim? Do I want to be a victim?”
- What situation are you in that makes you feel like a victim?
- What have you done, if anything, to remove yourself and change your victim energy?
If you still feel like a victim in your relationships and would like Therapy With Carol to help you become a hero, contact me now.