Your parents’ beliefs seem to be ingrained in your cellular memory more than you’ve ever imagined. You may be carrying the negative beliefs of one or both of your parents or perhaps your ancestors. The good news is that, with determined intention and attention, you can transform these beliefs into more positive beliefs.
Take a long hard look at your parents (alive or deceased). Do they carry the same attitudes as you towards life? Do you mimic your parent’s beliefs or attitudes in one way or another ?
For example, everyone who knew your mother when she was alive may have labeled her an angel or a saint. She was kind, loving, nurturing and compassionate. Yet, if you look deep enough, she may have been also unable to speak her mind and suffered quietly in her marriage or relationships and carrying the belief that she was unworthy and unable to change any of it. Or maybe she was too concerned with what others thought of her (and her family) that she allowed people to cross her personal boundaries without challenging them, thus ‘taking the hit’.
Separating your parent’s beliefs from your own
Now look at your life and notice if you mimic your parent’s beliefs and attitudes in thought or action.
By reflecting on your life, you may begin to see similar patterns within your family. Many families take on their ‘identity’ as a unit. They hold dear to their hearts the traditions and expectations of the family. Their actions reflect this.
Once you discover your parent’s beliefs and attitudes, now ask yourself if yours are your own or simply living in their shadow. Do you worry about what people may think of you and therefore most decisions made are about doing the ‘right thing’ instead of doing what you really want? If someone crosses your boundaries, do you speak up or just ‘take the hit’?
To shift a negative belief or attitude, you must first acknowledge it, own it as either your own or someone else’s and decide if it serves you. If it doesn’t you have the choice to give it back to whom it belongs to, with love.
Six things you can do to shift your beliefs or attitudes:
1-List your parent’s beliefs or attitudes – both positive and negative.
2-Make a point to inquire if each parent was in his or her power next to the beliefs and attitudes.
3-List your own positive and negative beliefs and attitudes.
4-Ask your self which of these you like and which you don’t. The ones that you don’t, notice if they are your own or perhaps you simply inherited them.
5-Once you identify who’s it is, you may wish to close your eyes, meditate a few minutes on the person that it belongs to and visualize yourself giving it back to them with love. Say, “This is yours, not mine, and I’m giving it back to you”. Make a positive affirming statement to yourself about the new belief you would like to create. An example would be, “I am able to speak my truth”.
6-Every time you catch yourself reverting back to that same belief, very quickly see them in your mind and hand it back to them repeating, “This is yours, not mine, and I’m giving it back to you” and repeat the affirming statement.
To learn more and receive support, please contact Therapy With Carol now.