Who is “The Man in the Mirror?”
When people in our lives constantly upset us, we tend to blame them for what they continue to do wrong. Yes, I get it. It is upsetting to watch our children not take responsibility for their own education. To constantly do their minimum, just to get by while we know how brilliant they are and what they can achieve if they simply decide to.
When we constantly feel upset, disappointed or even angry with our children, know that this feeling is a reflection of how we feel within ourselves. I am not invalidating the wish we have for our children to excel, as this is important. It remains an issue. But when we are so triggered that it causes us great anguish over it, perhaps it is time to look within and ask ourselves, where in our lives do we not take responsibility? This may require some deep self-reflection.
I also get when your co-worker makes recurring silly mistakes just because he does not care enough to pay attention to the task at hand, and then you feel the need to fix his mistakes before the boss notices. After all you care about him and don’t want anything bad to happen.
When you notice that they are not paying attention to the task at hand, and this really bothers you on a regular basis, then I suggest you look within and ask,“ Where do I not care enough to pay attention in my life?” Your answer may be that you don’t pay enough attention to someone in your family or perhaps to yourself. Perhaps you are a busy mom who takes care of everyone around her but ignores her own needs.
How about when a parent refuses to take care of their health? You can see clearly that a little self-discipline is all it takes for them to make the shift to a healthier body. But they don’t. Yes, it can be very upsetting.
These people mirror back to you issues that you have denied within yourself. They mirror them back to help you grow and evolve. They are your mirrors, and you, theirs. They are here to offer you the gift to reflect within and transform your self-sabotaging behaviours and beliefs. When you realize that your anger about the other person is really about yourself, the anger will disappear. Try it. Now, it does not mean that the issue is non-existent. It is and it is bothersome. But when your reactions are extreme and cause you discomfort, this reflection is a sign that you may need to ask, “Where is this a mirror in my life?” When you find the answer, you then have the opportunity to change it. This discovery allows you to heal a part of yourself. With the healing, you change your reaction, which in turn will change the dynamics between you and the other person. You soon find out who is the man in the mirror!
As Michael Jackson’s song “Man in the Mirror” says, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make the change.”
I believe we are on this earth for a reason. That reason is to grow and evolve into the best human beings that we can be. I believe that everyone in our lives; family, friends, coworkers and even strangers are here to help us grow and evolve by being our mirror. This mirror is to help us recognize a denied part of ourselves that affect our lives negatively. And in reciprocation, we are their mirrors as well
How to recognize when someone is a mirror to you:
Ask yourself, “What bothers me the most about this person?”
Then ask yourself, “ Where in my life am I like this?”
To receive more help with this, please contact Therapy With Carol now.